


I Can't Breathe Without Your Mouth All Over Me

by lexus_grey



Category: Defiance (TV)
Genre: Amanda uses a hairbrush, Deirdre has new rules to follow, F/F, Feels, Oral Sex, Run, Smut, They End Up Banging Of Course, Vaginal Fingering, a few tiny parts can border on seeming parental but Deirdre doesn't think of Amanda as a mother, anal fingering(briefly), for example she goes to sleep suckling Amanda's breast and they both like it, it's D/s-ish, older woman/younger woman relationship, she hates it but likes having someone care, so if that bothers you, sort of, there's spanking, when is there not spanking in my fic, why does smut always turn to feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-28 22:07:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10840425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexus_grey/pseuds/lexus_grey
Summary: After Deirdre's brush with death, Amanda takes the girl in hand. See tags for specifics.





	I Can't Breathe Without Your Mouth All Over Me

**Author's Note:**

> Also, I feel like canon Deirdre had Reactive Attachment Disorder, so I let elements of that belief filter lightly into this fic.

 

Christie quite literally dragged Treasure Doll back to the NeedWant after their fight up in the arch. "AMANDA!" she shouted as soon as they were in the door.

Amanda looked up to see her night porter being held by Christie Tarr, who was flanked by Alak, Datak and Stahma. She came out from behind the bar and approached them. "What is this? What's going on?"

Stahma stepped forward to relieve Christie of the burden of retelling the story. "This little whore tried to poison Christie's baby," she said, her voice calm despite the vulgarity of her words.

Amanda's eyes went wide. "Is that true, Deirdre?"

Treasure Doll nodded. "You told me to fight..."

Amanda's eyes went wider. "I didn't mean kill anyone or anyone's baby!" she said incredulously. "And I wouldn't have said that if you told me he was a married man!"

"Certainly you would not have said that had you known the man she was after was my son," Stahma agreed.

"Certainly not," Amanda said, shaking her head. "All right. Give her to me."

"You will keep her away from my family?" Stahma demand-asked.

"You can bet on it," Amanda said, grabbing Deirdre by the arm and jerking her close.

Christie snarled as Treasure Doll was taken from her grasp. "I was going to kill her. She should consider herself lucky that my mother-in-law intervened."

"Don't say that to me, Christie," Amanda said, shaking her head. "I used to be the mayor and I'm friends with Nolan."

Christie just narrowed her eyes and spun on her heel to leave with the rest of the Tarrs.

Amanda watched them go. That family was definitely a force to be reckoned with. Once the doors closed behind them, she turned her focus to Deirdre. "Upstairs. My room. Now."

Treasure Doll huffed and went up the stairs, stopping in front of Amanda's door with her arms folded across her chest.

Amanda opened the door and shoved Deirdre forward. "Get in."

"Watch it," Deirdre snapped, propelled into the room by the shove. "Handsy, jeez."

"You have no idea," Amanda said ominously, closing and locking the door behind them. Before Deirdre could have a chance to protest she grabbed her by the arm again and spun her around, landing a firm smack to the seat of her pants.

Treasure Doll blinked and jerked her arm out of Amanda's grip, spinning back around to face her. "Hey! What the fuck!"

"Did I say I was done?"

"Oh you're done," Treasure Doll said finitely, starting to move past Amanda toward the door.

"If you walk out that door, _you're_ done," Amanda said just as finitely.

Treasure Doll stopped cold, every nerve ending in her body suddenly set to 'panic'. She had nowhere else to go.

"That's better," Amanda said when Deirdre halted her retreat. "Sit down." She indicated the edge of the bed.

Deirdre slowly inched her way to the bed and sat on the edge of it. She didn't like feeling uncertain.

Amanda sat next to her and turned to face her. "You now have a new set of rules, and if you don't follow them, you can expect a trip across my lap," she said without preamble.

"I don't do rules. And I don't do spankings. Well, I don't get them." No one was going to tell Treasure Doll what to do.

Amanda ignored the denial. "You now have a curfew. You will be in this building every night by ten o'clock. At ten o'clock you will come find me wherever I am. I will make sure I'm in the building every night at that time. If you do not come home, you'll get spanked. If you find me at 10:01, you'll get spanked. You will stay in this building every night from ten o'clock until the next morning at eight o'clock. If you leave the building before eight o'clock, you'll get spanked. Now, whether you agree or not, are you at least clear on rule number one?"

"I'm clear that you're fucking crazy," Deirdre sneered.

That was good enough for Amanda. She didn't expect roses. "Rule number two. You will have no contact with any member of the Tarr family at any time. No speaking. No touching. No following. No watching. No going within a hundred yards of the Tarr house or any of the Tarrs. That includes asking other people about them, too. None of that. If Datak or Stahma or even Alak or Christie come into the NeedWant, you come find me immediately and I will remove you from their presence. If you fail to adhere stringently to this rule, you'll get spanked. Are you clear on rule number two?"

"He loves m--"

"Are you clear on rule number two?!" Amanda snapped.

"Yeah, fuck!" Deirdre yelled, distressed. How was she supposed to stay away from Alak? She knew he loved her, he just didn't know how to show it. At least she hoped he loved her. He was the only one to make her feel like a princess.

"Rule number three. No more house calls. Your business is all done here from now on. If I catch you servicing a client elsewhere, you'll get spanked. And I will catch you, Deirdre. Are you clear on rule number three?"

"It's pretty fucking self-explanatory, isn't it?"

At least the girl had gone from explosive to petulant. That was a good sign. "Rule number four. You need to ask me permission to go anywhere. Your decision making has been very, very poor lately and as a result you almost ended up dead today. I'm surprised Stahma intervened on your behalf. She must have something planned, but regardless, you should be grateful. So your decision-making privileges are revoked. If you leave the building without asking me, even to take out the garbage, you'll get spanked. Are you clear on rule number four?"

"I don't take out the garbage."

"Excellent. Rule number five. You and I are going to check in every day. Maybe we'll have dinner together; I haven't decided the time yet. But we're going to check in every day. You'll tell me about your day and whatever feelings you've been having."

"If I'm not allowed to do anything without asking you'll already know about my day," Treasure Doll pointed out flippantly.

"Semantics," Amanda waved off her complaint. "If you do not share your feelings or if you lie to me, you'll get spanked. Are you clear on rule number five?"

"Rule five is stupid, but yeah."

Amanda smirked, though the gesture was laced with affection. "And now, you're not going to like this, but you're getting a spanking for trying to murder Christie's unborn baby, for two reasons. First and most importantly, it was a horrible, illegal thing to do. Second, and less important but still important I think, you will know what it feels like and how beneficial it would be for you to avoid a repeat performance."

Treasure Doll narrowed her eyes at Amanda, then looked away. "You're not my mom. You can't spank me."

Amanda gently took hold of her chin and forced Deirdre to look at her. "No, I'm not your mom. Your mother sold you, and I would never. Now please don't make it more difficult than it already is. Lay across my lap and undo your pants."

Amanda's words struck a chord buried deep inside her and brought tears to her eyes. That sentiment alone was the only reason she complied without a fight. She undid her pants and draped herself across Amanda's lap, embarrassed and unhappy.

Surprised but pleased at the lack of argument, Amanda lowered Deirdre's pants and underwear. "I don't ever want you to do something so horrible again," she said, bringing her hand down with a crisp smack. "You are not a horrible person, Deirdre, and I won't have you doing dangerous things and hurting people." She continued to spank as she lectured. "You will never try to hurt someone like that again," she reiterated, turning Deirdre's bottom a light shade of pink, then darker pink, then bright red as the spanking went on.

It was uncomfortable at first, then really uncomfortable, then a little hard to take, then harder to take, then really, really painful and Treasure Doll found herself crying into Amanda's comforter. Strangely enough, though, the thought didn't cross her mind to beg Amanda to stop. Maybe guilt, maybe she liked that Amanda gave a fuck. Finally it stopped and she breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe Amanda might be proud of her? For holding still and staying quiet?

"Is this an experience you would care to repeat?" was Amanda's first question.

"No," Treasure Doll sniffled, wiping her tears with her fingertips.

"That's good," Amanda said gently. "Thank you for behaving for me."

Treasure Doll nodded, not sure what to say.

"There's one more thing. This was a mild spanking compared to what you'll get if you break my rules. Understand?"

Treasure Doll nodded again.

"Let me hear your words, please. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"I'm going to give you one smack with my hairbrush so you'll know what to expect, all right?"

Treasure Doll gave a little whine but didn't argue.

"Good girl," Amanda said, sliding Deirdre off her lap to bend over the bed so she could get her hairbrush. "Stay there; I'll be right back."

Treasure Doll's breath hitched at being called a good girl, especially by Amanda who she looked up to so much. It made the pain in her ass almost worth it.

Amanda returned with her brush and sat down, and Deirdre climbed back over her lap. "Now you're only getting one, but if you break my rules you'll get a lot more than that. I want you to keep that in mind. Are you ready?"

The girl just sighed and nodded. "Mhm."

Amanda lifted the brush and brought it down with a stinging crack.

Treasure Doll shrieked in surprise and pain, scrambling to try to get off Amanda's lap but the madam held her firmly.

"Don't do that, Deirdre," she warned gently. "Settle down, please."

More tears leaked from the corners of her eyes as she forced herself to lay still. She did not need to feel that pain ever again, thank you very much. Amanda was mistaken if she thought that was going to happen.

"Good girl," Amanda said again, soothingly, petting the girl's hair after setting the hairbrush aside.

Well... maybe she was being a little hasty. She had never been called a good girl before and her psyche sucked at the words like a starving child.

"Now you really understand that you need to behave, right?" Amanda asked gently, still petting her hair. "Because the minimum you're going to get for breaking any of the rules is twenty."

Treasure Doll whined again but relished the gentle tone and the hand in her hair. "I couldn't take it..."

"Yes you could," Amanda told her. "You wouldn't have a choice. So you need to follow the rules. Do you want me to write them down for you so you don't forget?"

The girl nodded.

"Okay. I'll do that in a few minutes. First I want to know why you think I'm doing this." She fully expected Deirdre to say it was because she was controlling or wanted to be a bitch or liked hurting her.

"Because you care," Treasure Doll said with a sigh. "I think." Shit. What if she was wrong and Amanda didn't really care?

Quite surprised, Amanda leaned down and kissed the back of her head. "That's right. I'm glad you realize that. I expected a completely different answer, but you're right. I am doing this because I care about you."

"Look... I'm gonna try, okay? But I can't guarantee anything."

"The person who you'll end up hurting if you don't behave is yourself," Amanda pointed out. "I'm very serious, Deirdre. Do you need another example?"

"No!" the girl said quickly. "I said I'll try!"

Amanda pulled up her pants and panties for her and patted her thigh. "Okay, you can get up. Come give me a hug, D."

A little shocked to hear Amanda wanted to hug her, she got to her feet and stood awkwardly, not sure whether to lean over or wait for Amanda to stand up.

Amanda pulled the girl onto her lap and wrapped her in a hug.

Deirdre gasped softly, arms going around Amanda, and she soaked up the affection like a sponge.

Amanda held her like that for a long time, using one hand to tuck Deirdre's head in the crook of her neck.

Finally her stomach growled, alerting her to the outside world and the hierarchy of needs, and she kissed the top of Deirdre's head. "I'm apparently hungry. Come have dinner with me and we'll do your first check in. I can write down the rules for you while we eat."

Treasure Doll was quite subdued after being held like that for the first time in her life, and she offered no argument to Amanda's suggestion. "I'm a little hungry," she admitted, doing up the button and zipper of her pants.

\--

As they sat and ate at a corner table in the marketplace, Amanda wrote down the rules for Deirdre and Deirdre picked at her food. "So. Tell me how you're feeling right now," Amanda asked.

"Weird," Treasure Doll replied.

"How so?"

"I hate rules, I hate that you're going to spank me if I don't follow them, but I like that you give a fuck."

"I do give a fuck," Amanda confirmed with a nod. "That's a good enough check in for today. Thank you for sharing your feelings."

"I can't even say hello if I see Alak?" the girl asked, staring at her plate.

"You can if you want twenty whacks with my hairbrush," Amanda said without missing a beat.

"That's not fair."

"You tried to kill his baby."

"But I--" Treasure Doll started to give some excuse but deflated at Amanda's look and fell silent.

Amanda finished writing the note card and handed it across the table to her charge. "I have to go work the bar for awhile. Remember, come find me at ten. Not a minute after, so if you have to start looking for me at quarter til, I suggest you do that."

\--

Of course the first thing Treasure Doll did was leave the building, intending to sneak up to the arch and at least tell Alak she was sorry. She'd waited until Amanda was behind the bar so she wouldn't notice, then slipped out the back door.

\--

Amanda wasn't stupid. She had several people on her payroll keeping an eye on Deirdre one hundred percent of the time. So as soon as the girl stepped out the door she was notified.

With a sigh she threw down her towel and thanked her employee for the information, then hurried out the back after Deirdre.

Treasure Doll was about thirty steps out of the NeedWant when she heard the door open behind her and spun to see Amanda approaching. Her stomach twisted and her jaw dropped. How the hell could she have possibly seen? She was behind the bar!

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Amanda asked, closing the distance between them and grabbing Deirdre by the arm. "The MOMENT we part ways?"

"I needed to see him! I need to tell him I'm sorry!"

"You need to follow the rules, Deirdre. Stahma Tarr will slit your throat if you go near her son again, do you not get that?" She marched the girl back to the NeedWant and right up the stairs, right to her room where they'd been less than an hour before. She grabbed her hairbrush, sat down and yanked Deirdre back across her lap. "Undo your pants," she said sharply.

Deirdre undid her pants with trembling fingers, nervous despite how furious she was.

Amanda pulled down her pants and underwear again, then wrapped her left arm around Deirdre's waist to hold her tight as she wasted no time imparting her wisdom, delivering five solid cracks of the brush before taking a pause to let the girl catch up.

Deirdre howled in pain from the first crack, her backside on fire instantly. "No!" she cried out, trying to put her hand in the way to stop Amanda from continuing.

Amanda pinned the girl's wrist to her back and laid down five more crisp smacks, speaking loudly to be heard over Deirdre's wailing. "You WILL obey the rules and you WILL stay away from Alak Tarr because it would kill me to find your body in an alley with your throat slit, do you hear me Deirdre?" She held the struggling girl tightly and spanked her five more times, the sound echoing off the walls sharply.

"No more! No more! PLEASE! I'm SORRY!" Treasure Doll sobbed, the fight gone out of her.

"You have five more, and I hope you're hearing me, young lady," Amanda said, letting go of Deirdre's wrist once she stopped struggling. She slowed down now to deliver one smack at a time, bringing down the brush with more firmness than she thought she possessed.

"Please, please, please," Treasure Doll begged. "Stop, please..."

Amanda spanked her again. "Three more. You will stay away from all of the Tarrs." She spanked her again, steeling herself for the last two even though her charge's bottom was bright, flaming red.

"I will, I swear, I'll never go near them again, any of them," Treasure Doll promised, sobbing brokenly. "Please, no more, I'll behave, I'll follow the rules!"

Amanda's heart melted at the pleas and she delivered the last two quickly, afraid she'd lose her resolve otherwise. They were just as hard as the rest - she didn't want Deirdre to think she could apologize and get out of a punishment - but giving her those last two in the face of the heartfelt begging was difficult. She set the brush aside when it was done. "All done, that's twenty," she said, her tone of voice gentle now instead of stern.

Deirdre sobbed, her heart broken. "I-I-I'm sorry," she stammered after a few minutes of just laying there crying and shaking. "I'm sorry, Amanda, I'm s-s-s--"

"Shhhhh," Amanda soothed her. "It's okay, honey. Just cry as long as you need to, and breathe." She started rubbing the girl's back to help her calm down.

She didn't know how long she cried, only that it hurt so much. And that Amanda was rubbing her back. That was nice. Different. When she finally felt calm enough to speak, she wiped her eyes and turned her head to the side, resting her cheek on folded arms. "I'll behave," she said, genuinely regretting her impulsive decision.

"That would make me very happy," Amanda said quietly. "I don't want to see you end up killed."

Deirdre nodded, starting to really understand that her situation was indeed very serious and there was no room for a slip-up. She hadn't really thought too much about the repercussions but the more times Amanda said Stahma Tarr would kill her, the more she realized it was true. "I'm so stupid," she finally said with a sigh.

"No, honey, it's called being in love. Or at least close enough to it to think you're in love. Everyone has those times in their lives. But you're not stupid, Deirdre. Okay?"

Deirdre shrugged but nodded her acceptance of Amanda's words.

"Does this mean that you'll really, honestly stay away from the Tarrs?" Amanda asked after another minute or two of comfortable silence.

"I promise you, I will," Treasure Doll whispered.

"Thank you, honey. I care about you an awful lot and what happened today scared me."

Deirdre gasped. "What?"

"What to which part?"

"To the whole thing I guess."

"You're the one who convinced me to keep this place open, remember? None of this would be here right now if you hadn't spoken up. And I'm so glad you did. I care about all of my night porters but you have a special place, Deirdre. You didn't know that?"

Fresh tears fell and she shook her head. "I didn't. I guess I'm just used to feeling alone and I haven't had anyone care about me before. I don't know what signs to look for so I must have missed them."

"Well I'm telling you right now, so don't forget it, baby girl. I care about you a lot and it scared me that Christie came so close to hurting you like that. I wouldn't be blistering your ass if I didn't care so much."

Deirdre actually blushed at that. She hadn't blushed in a very, very long time. "Thank you," she said softly. "I mean not for the ass blistering! But for caring. Thank you." She was quiet for another minute or two and then sighed. "I'm really sorry I broke the rules the first chance I got. That wasn't right when you're just trying to protect me."

"It wasn't, I agree, and thank you," Amanda said, ruffling the girl's hair. "Do you want to get out of your pants or do you think you can handle pulling them back up?"

"I'm a whore but I'm not going to walk to my room naked and let the pervs look for free," Treasure Doll replied cheekily.

"Night porter," Amanda said in a sing-song voice.

"Who-ore," Treasure Doll sang back.

"Stop that," Amanda said, playfully shoving her shoulder. "Okay, on your feet, young lady. Take the rest of the night off."

Deirdre got to her feet and pulled up her pants and underwear with a wince. "Ow..." She turned to leave and at the last minute turned back and threw her arms around Amanda's neck, squeezing her tight.

Amanda returned the hug with an affectionate kiss to Deirdre's temple. "You give pretty great hugs, baby girl," she said with a little laugh.

Amanda calling her 'baby girl' did something to Deirdre that she had no name for - she just knew she liked it. "Thank you, again," she whispered into Amanda's ear, then dropped a quick kiss to her cheek and hurried out of the room.

Once she was alone, Amanda ran her hands over her face with a shaky sigh. Taking this girl in hand was going to be a challenge worthy of a god. She hoped she was doing right by Deirdre. She thought she was, but of course everyone had second thoughts about their methods sometimes.

\--

Deirdre locked herself in her room and stripped out of her shoes, pants and underwear, and climbed into bed on her stomach. Her butt throbbed and burned like wildfire, but her chest felt light in a way she'd never expected to be able to feel. If she took away the spanking part of the day it was actually the best day of her life. She felt so... loved, really. Important. She had never truly felt important to someone before.

Amanda's arms had felt so good around her. Lips so gentle kissing the back of her head or the side of her face. And as much as she disliked the spanking, she did like being held accountable. And she liked that Amanda didn't stop just because she cried - that she made the lesson stick no matter what.

She gasped when she realized she was getting wet thinking about Amanda. About her beautiful smile, her silky hair, the feel of being in her arms. About being cared for. About what Amanda's mouth might taste like... what her breasts might feel like... how good her pussy might smell...

Before she knew it Deirdre had two fingers buried inside herself and she was pumping in and out at an almost frenzied pace, bucking her hips and wishing her fingers were Amanda's. She pushed in hard and deep and cried out, Amanda's name on her lips as she shuddered violently with a powerful orgasm.

Clenching all of her muscles like that made her ass hurt worse and she shoved her face into her pillow to muffle a scream of conflicted frustration.

\--

At nine thirty Deirdre put on a pair of silk pajama pants and a matching camisole and left her room in search of Amanda. She wasn't taking any chances.

Amanda was easy to find because she was still tending bar, and Deirdre found a spot against one wall to watch her work. The way Amanda could genuinely smile at just about anyone fascinated her. And the way she was so confident as she mixed drinks was unendingly appealing. Treasure Doll found herself flushed before too long and at about ten minutes til, she made her way to the bar and waited for Amanda to acknowledge her.

Amanda glanced at the clock and smiled when she saw Deirdre. "Give me five minutes and I'll walk you up," she told the girl.

Treasure Doll just nodded. It seemed pointless to come downstairs just to be escorted back up.

Amanda finished up behind the bar and walked around, sliding her arm into Deirdre's. "I'm very glad to see you before ten," she confessed as they headed upstairs.

"I meant it when I said I'd follow your rules," Deirdre replied, trying not to pay attention to the fact they were walking arm in arm.

"Well I'm very glad for that, too," Amanda said with a smile that crinkled her nose. "Okay, here we are," she then said as they reached Deirdre's room. "And you know to stay in here until eight tomorrow morning, right?"

Treasure Doll nodded again.

"Okay, good night then, honey. If you need me of course you can come out of your room. I'll be in my room most likely but if I'm ever leaving the building I'll let you know first."

Deirdre looked longingly up at Amanda, not sure how to voice her thoughts. She curled her fingers around the collar of Amanda's dress and stood close to her, focusing on remembering to breathe.

Amanda stared back at the girl, confused by her expression and her body language. "Are you okay? What's going on?"

"I'm fine I just... I was hoping... I mean... I wanted to know if you could tuck me in and give me a good night kiss," Deirdre finally whispered.

"Oh, honey, of course," Amanda said, entering the room with her. "You never have to be afraid to ask me that."

Deirdre bit her lip and climbed in bed, knowing they were talking about two different types of good-night kisses.

Amanda pulled the blankets over her and sat next to her on the bed, leaning over to press a soft, sweet kiss to her forehead. "Good night, baby girl."

As Amanda moved to get up, Deirdre gently grabbed her arm. "Amanda."

"Yes?"

"One more. Please?"

The way Deirdre was looking at her made her realize what exactly the girl was asking for. "Oh. _Oh_ ," she said, and before she could talk herself out of it, she gave Deirdre the kind of kiss she was asking for - at least partially. Their lips touched and Amanda lingered for just a moment before pulling back. When Deirdre's head came up off the pillow seeking firmer contact, she put a hand on her chest to halt the assent. "Baby girl, I don't know if that's such a good idea..."

"Okay. Good night," Deirdre said, quickly turning on her side facing away from Amanda to hide her tears.

"Hey," Amanda said, resting a hand on the girl's arm. "Hey, come here." She urged Deirdre to turn back over and melted at the tears, setting her own qualms aside and pressing their lips together again. She knew it was a bad idea. Deirdre got attached very easily. But better to have her attached to Amanda who wouldn't hurt her than to someone like Alak. Maybe it was a little devilish but better the devil you know... She slipped her tongue into Deirdre's mouth and laid claim to her in a very inappropriate way, but again, better the devil you know.

Deirdre gasped into the kiss, not having expected capitulation. When her surprise faded she gave a soft moan, reveling in the feeling of Amanda's tongue claiming every part of her willing mouth.

Amanda kissed her for a long time, making her intentions clear, and then pulled back. "Now go to sleep. No more crying or thinking I've rejected you. Clear?"

Deirdre nodded dreamily. "Clear."

\--

Safely back in her room, Amanda fluttered her fingertips across her lips absently. Why did Deirdre have to taste so good? And be so delightfully submissive in that kiss? What was she supposed to do now?

\--

Deirdre could not sleep for the life of her. Finally around three am she got up and wandered to Amanda's room and let herself in. She walked over to the bed and gently shook Amanda's shoulder.

Amanda mumbled and turned away but when the shaking continued she grudgingly rolled back over and opened her eyes. When she registered Deirdre she woke up a little more. "Are you okay, honey?"

"I can't sleep."

"Did you have a nightmare or something?"

"No, I just can't sleep. Can I sleep with you?"

"Sure, sure," Amanda said with a yawn, pointing behind her.

Relieved, Deirdre climbed into bed behind Amanda and snuggled up to her under the blankets.

Amanda sighed at the warm hand on her belly that Deirdre had snaked beneath her pajama top. "Good girl," she murmured. When Deirdre's fingers crawled lower she knew she shouldn't allow it but she was tired and it felt so nice, and it had been a long time. "Very good girl," she purred again, pressing her backside lightly into Deirdre's groin.

The girl's fingers crawled lower, into her underwear, and stroked through the trimmed patch of curls between her legs. She gave a languid moan and rolled onto her back, letting her legs fall open.

Deirdre was shocked as hell to be allowed to touch Amanda, but not an ounce of that shock was in any way negative or hesitant. She parted slick folds and slid into Amanda with first one finger, then shortly after joined it with another. "You're wet," she whispered in awe.

"I have a beautiful girl touching me," Amanda replied simply.

Deirdre pushed slowly in and out, her pace lazy and unhurried. "I like it when you call me a good girl," she confessed on a breath. "It does things to me I can't even explain."

"I like it when you are a good girl," Amanda hummed, her hips subtly rocking, finding a slow rhythm with Deirdre's fingers.

"I'll be as good as humanly possible for you," Deirdre promised. Her lips nuzzled Amanda's temple as her hand worked between the madam's thighs.

Amanda tilted her head to look at Deirdre and smiled. "Come here, give me a kiss," she murmured.

Deirdre ducked her head down and kissed Amanda, long and slow and sweet. It wasn't too much longer after that before she felt walls tremble and close around her fingers, then slowly relax.

Amanda made no sounds as she came, she just tensed and released, a feeling of warmth spreading through her. "Thank you," she mumbled sleepily, rolling onto her side again and taking hold of Deirdre's wrist to pull the girl flush against her back. She tucked Deirdre's arm under her breasts, thumb brushing back and forth as she felt the girl relax behind her.

"Any time," Treasure Doll whispered, settling in behind her with a sigh of contentment. She kissed Amanda's shoulder and nuzzled her nose into the back of Amanda's neck. "You make me feel so safe. And unrelated to that... you're so beautiful, Amanda."

"Thank you, baby girl," Amanda whispered, squeezing her hand. "Do you think you can sleep now or do you need something else?"

Deirdre held her breath for a second and then exhaled, shaking her head. "I think I can sleep."

"Are you sure?" Amanda asked, sleepily rolling over to face the girl. "You don't sound sure. Come here." She pulled down one side of her top and guided Deirdre's head to her breast.

Deirdre gasped, but she wasn't complaining in the least, and eagerly latched on to Amanda's pebbled nipple, suckling softly as she closed her eyes.

Amanda purred like a content cat and was back asleep within a few minutes, the girl's gentle suckling lulling her like a song.

Deirdre followed soon after, her mind pacified by pleasant thoughts that turned into pleasant dreams.

\--

Deirdre woke up entangled with Amanda, one leg thrown over the madam's and her head resting on Amanda's arm. When she opened her eyes she groaned quietly at the sight of Amanda's breast and last night's memories came flooding back. She leaned forward and closed her lips over Amanda's nipple again, thinking it was the best way in the world to wake up.

Amanda moaned in her sleep and after a minute or so she started coming around. As her head cleared she realized the sensation on her breast was Deirdre's mouth, and she sighed contently at the way it felt. "Well good morning," she said, her voice rough with sleep.

"Mm," Deirdre mumbled around her mouthful.

"Bit of a nice way to wake up," Amanda said with a soft chuckle. "Did you sleep okay?"

Deirdre nodded, not willing to relinquish her hold on Amanda's breast. She sucked a little harder, loving the way Amanda's eyelids fluttered in response.

"Baby girl, you're getting me worked up..." Her hips shifted beneath Deirdre's knee that she found she liked having draped over her body.

Deirdre moaned at the revelation and moved her hand into Amanda's panties, moaning louder when she found the older woman wet. She easily slipped two fingers inside, flicking her tongue lazily across Amanda's captive nipple.

Amanda had originally thought she was allowing Deirdre to touch her for purely unselfish reasons, but the girl felt amazing and her libido was obviously quite formidable. "Ohhh," she groaned as fingers slipped inside her and a tongue flicked her nipple. "You're spoiling me, honey... I could get used to waking up like this."

Deirdre responded by closing her mouth lightly around Amanda's nipple and scraping her teeth across it, pushing her fingers in deep.

Amanda's hips rocked into Deirdre's fingers, her mouth falling open as the girl pushed in so deep. "Ohhhh, baby girl," she gasped, rocking her hips again.

Deirdre released her nipple so she could hiss into Amanda's ear. "I'm so deep inside you, Amanda... I can feel everything." And she used her free hand to pull Amanda's top down on the other side, latching onto her other breast.

Amanda gasped, Deirdre's words unexpectedly causing a flood between her legs.

Deirdre lavished Amanda's breast with loving attention and then released it with a pop and whispered into her ear again. "I'm going to fuck you so hard, Amanda..."

"Deirdre," Amanda moaned, trembling at the girl's forceful words and accompanying forceful thrust inside her.

"Do you want me to do that?" Deirdre asked, rising up onto her knees, then sitting back on her heels, offering another forceful thrust, now with better leverage.

Amanda cried out and arched her back, hands shooting to wrap around the iron bars of the headboard behind her. "Yes," she managed to answer.

"I know how to fuck a woman until she can't walk properly," Deirdre told her, pushing in hard and deep, then halfway out and slamming back in all the way.

Amanda whimpered and drew away from the touch on instinct, then spread her legs wider in invitation. How long had it been since someone had just fucked the shit out of her? A long time. And first thing in the morning? Hot damn.

Deirdre scissored her fingers and dragged the tips along Amanda's slick walls on the way out, then pushed carefully but roughly back in with three. "I'm not the only one who's going to have trouble sitting," Deirdre snarked at her with a smirk, pulling out and pushing in, loving the way Amanda squirmed.

Amanda couldn't help the short bark of laughter that escaped at Deirdre's teasing, but it was quickly replaced by moans and whimpers and escalating little sounds of pain and pleasure.

Deirdre's smirk faded into a look of intense concentration and she fucked Amanda mercilessly until she had the madam coming apart under her fingers. Amanda's loud cry as she came was music to Deirdre's ears, and she stayed inside even after Amanda had calmed, sweaty and panting beneath her.

After a few minutes, Amanda stared up at her in wonderment. "Wow," was all she could think to say. She shifted uncomfortably at the fingers still stretching her open.

Deirdre carefully withdrew her fingers and licked each one of them clean right in front of Amanda's face. "Mmm," she moaned indecently.

Amanda just stared at her while she did that. When the little tart was finally finished cleaning herself, Amanda reached out to run her fingers through soft blonde hair, gathering a mess of it at the nape of Deirdre's neck and pulling her in for a kiss.

When Amanda released her hair and parted their lips, Deirdre slowly licked her own. "I think I could get used to spoiling you," she said with a grin.

"And what about you, honey? Do you plan to lay down and spread those pretty thighs for me someday or is that privilege reserved only for clients?"

Deirdre bit her lip, arousal coiling low in her belly as she thought about that exact picture in her mind. "You can take me whenever you want, but to be honest I much prefer giving to receiving."

"Maybe I'll just wait for the day you can't breathe without my mouth all over you," Amanda said in a low, rough voice. "When that day comes... I'll take you, Deirdre. I'll take you so many times you won't be able to think straight. But not until you're desperate. Not until you really want it. I don't do 'take it or leave it'."

"I look forward to the day I feel that need," Deirdre said with a wicked smile. "Until then, I plan to take you at every opportunity."

\--

That night, Deirdre slid into bed with Amanda in the middle of the night again. She had behaved all day in an exemplary manner. She had talked about her feelings over dinner, never left the building without asking, and found Amanda at ten minutes to ten. She just couldn't sleep again. She told herself that's why she was crawling into Amanda's bed at three am.

Amanda grumbled and woke up a little when she felt a weight on the mattress. She already knew who it was this time, so she forced herself a little more awake in order to speak. "Everything okay, baby girl?"

"Yes," Deirdre said, settling in behind her and pulling the blankets back up over them both. "I just can't sleep again."

Amanda turned into her and kissed her forehead, then sleepily bared one breast to the girl.

Deirdre scooted down so she could take Amanda's nipple into her mouth and once again suckled them both to sleep.

\--

After that night Amanda just brought Deirdre to bed with her at ten o'clock. She figured she could sacrifice whatever hours she might have stayed downstairs after ten in order to go to bed with the girl and provide stability. Deirdre's mouth at her breast relaxed them both every night, and every morning Amanda woke up with Deirdre's tongue or fingers somewhere inside her.

She had been afraid of Deirdre's tendency to get attached, but after a few weeks of their routine she feared that she was the one with an addiction. She was contemplating that thought when Deirdre approached her, looking nervous. "What's up, baby girl?"

"I got asked to go out to dinner with a guy," Deirdre began, not sure how Amanda would react. She hadn't actually asked for permission to leave the NeedWant yet. She had been comfortable to stay in the building; it had everything (and everyone) she needed.

"Oh?" Amanda asked, inexplicably stiffening at the prospect. Her heart beat just a little faster and she forced herself to sound casual as she asked, "and do you want to go?"

Deirdre may not have been the smartest girl in the world, but she was street smart and she was perceptive, and she saw Amanda stiffen. So she lied. "No, no... I was just making conversation."

Amanda smiled wistfully at her. "Don't lie, baby girl. You want to go, and that's all right. You can go."

Deirdre felt bad. "It's okay, really."

"Hush," Amanda scolded her, waving a hand dismissively. "Of course you're going. You deserve to go on a date with a nice young man. He is nice, isn't he?"

Deirdre blushed. "Well yeah, but--"

"Just bring him to meet me first."

\--

"Justin, this is my-- this is Amanda. Amanda, this is Justin. He's asked me to dinner." She didn't know what exactly she had been about to say, but obviously now wasn't the time to try to figure it out.

"Hello, Justin," Amanda said pleasantly. "Take good care of her and she needs to be back by nine forty-five."

"Hello," he said with a nod. "All right."

Deirdre gave Amanda a hug and glanced back at her a few times as she left with Justin. Their eyes met and she flushed, turning away and almost running into Justin's back on their way out the door.

\--

Dinner went well enough. Justin wasn't a huge conversationalist but he paid for their meals and was at least nice to her.

When they got in his roller after dessert, he tried to kiss her. Somehow she found herself frantically searching for an excuse not to, and she saw the time was nine forty. Perfect excuse. "Oh my gosh I've got five minutes to get home," she said, leaning out of the way and trying to make it seem casual.

"Or what?" he asked. "Your mommy's gonna get mad?"

"She's not my mother," Deirdre said through clenched teeth, already not liking where this was going. "Take me home, now, please."

"You're seriously not even going to let me kiss you?"

"I now have four minutes. Turn on the roller."

"You honestly have a curfew? Four minutes huh? I think we can do a little making out and still get you home almost on time."

Deirdre was starting to panic. "Turn on the roller and get me home in four minutes or I swear to Irzu or Rayetso or whoever you believe in that I will crush your fucking nuts with these girly boots."

"Why are you so panicked? What's she gonna do, spank you?"

Deirdre's cheeks flared red, but with anger, not embarrassment. "Yes, actually! Turn on the fucking roller!"

"That's kinda hot. Can I watch?"

With a scream of rage, Deirdre somehow managed to turn herself sideways and slam the heel of her boot into his groin, then she left him howling in pain and got out of the roller, taking off at a jog toward the NeedWant. There was no way she'd get back by ten.

\--

She was close, though. She got in at 10:03, already a crying mess as she frantically looked around for Amanda.

Amanda was irritated by nine fifty, since she'd told the kid to have Deirdre home by nine forty-five. She knew curfew was ten, but still, she had been clear. By the time ten o'clock came and went, she was downright fuming. She paced back and forth behind the bar, muttering and cursing and just generally freaking out.

Her unyielding rage yielded, however, when she saw the girl burst through the doors in tears. The rage was replaced by bone-chilling dread. She ran to Deirdre and made a fuss of looking her over for injuries. "Did he hurt you?"

"No," Deirdre cried, throwing her arms around Amanda. "He just wouldn't take me home! I begged him to then yelled at him to then threatened him to then kicked him in the nuts and jogged home! I tried so hard to get here by ten, I swear Amanda, I--"

"Shhhhhh," Amanda interrupted, holding her tight. "Shhhh, it's okay, baby girl. Calm down."

"Please please please don't spank me," Deirdre whispered, clinging to Amanda's jacket, face buried in the madam's neck. "I tried so hard..."

"I'm not going to spank you," Amanda promised, stroking her hair. "Calm down, baby girl," she repeated. "You're okay. Calm down."

Deirdre cried into her neck, and the longer she was in Amanda's arms the calmer she got. Finally she stopped crying and just soaked in the comfort.

"He really didn't hurt you?" Amanda asked, swallowing past the lump in her throat.

"No, I hurt him," Deirdre responded, not trying to be funny, but when Amanda chuckled, she chuckled. She guessed it was a little bit funny. But only since she wasn't in trouble. She couldn't imagine being in trouble with Amanda after all these weeks of bliss. "Can we go upstairs?"

"Sure thing, sweet pea," Amanda said, kissing the top of her head and taking her by the hand, leading her up the stairs and to the room they now shared most of the time. At least at bedtime.

They both undressed and while Amanda got into her pajamas, Deirdre climbed onto the bed naked and lay on her back, trembling. "Amanda?" she whispered.

"Yes?" Amanda asked, looking up from buttoning her last button and blinking in surprise at the sight of her girl naked and trembling.

"It's tonight," Deirdre said.

"What's tonight?" Amanda asked, moving to sit on the bed next to her.

"The night that I can't breathe without your mouth all over me."

The wind was knocked from Amanda's lungs as she sat there and heard those words. "Oh," she breathed, excitement and anticipation winding through her. She moved over Deirdre on all fours and dropped her head to steal a kiss before moving her lips down over Deirdre's neck, across the front of her throat, stopping every so often to suck for a moment before continuing, while Deirdre squirmed and moaned beneath her. "You're so beautiful, my baby girl," she purred, dragging her tongue over one naked shoulder and down her collarbone to the center of her chest.

"I realized you're the only one I want," Deirdre said so quietly she could barely hear the words herself. "When he tried to kiss me, I wouldn't let him because all I wanted was you."

Amanda looked up with tears in her eyes and kissed Deirdre again, communicating without words for the moment because she was at a loss. She kissed her way down Deirdre's other shoulder and back to the middle of her chest, then ran her tongue slowly over each of the girl's ribs in turn. She loved the way she could feel the sharp bones underneath soft skin.

Deirdre made little noises of contentment or encouragement almost constantly. She wasn't usually much for being touched, but when she was, she appreciated it wholeheartedly. She was actually very tactilely sensitive, which was part of the reason she allowed this so infrequently - it wouldn't do for a whore to enjoy herself too much for a client and make them think the relationship was something it wasn't. But with Amanda, now, her physical responses matched her inner feelings, so she felt like it was okay.

Amanda grinned against Deirdre's skin at all the little sounds she made. They were priceless. "So beautiful," she said again, kissing her way to Deirdre's navel and circling her tongue around it before quickly sliding her body backward and her mouth downward, licking between Deirdre's legs to find her dripping.

Deirdre drew her knees up and spread her thighs further for Amanda, letting out a low growling whine at the feel of the madam's tongue between her legs.

Amanda brought her hands up to spread Deirdre open for her and licked the newly revealed flesh, thrilled at the shudder the act sent through her girl. She gave another slow lick and Deirdre's hips bucked into her mouth. "You taste so good," she hummed against Deirdre's clit. "I want to make you feel good... if there's something you really like, don't hold back, okay honey? Just tell me what it is and I'll do it for hours."

"You make me feel so special," Deirdre whispered. "No one's ever really, truly done that for me before. There have been times when I thought so for a minute, but you make me feel that every day."

Amanda nuzzled Deirdre's clit with her nose and then sucked it into her mouth, worrying it lightly between her teeth. "That's because I love you, of course," she chuckled, then dove back in, pushing her tongue inside the girl.

Deirdre wasn't sure she could breathe after hearing that. It almost made her want to stop having sex to ask if she'd heard right. Almost. But she wasn't going to say it back during sex, she knew that much.

Amanda half panicked after the casual confession slipped out like she'd said it a hundred times before, but when Deirdre didn't push her head away she relaxed and refocused her efforts on pleasing her girl. She pushed her tongue so far inside it made her jaw ache, but Deirdre's shuddering moan was worth it. When she wriggled a hand under her and probed a finger into Deirdre's backside, the girl clamped on her tongue and exploded. Knees held her head tightly in place as she rode out the waves, and when the storm had raged and calmed, she crawled up Deirdre's body to kiss her.

Deirdre hugged her and kissed her and shivered through a few aftershocks, and then asked, still panting slightly, "why didn't you tell me you were into the ass thing? I could've been fucking you there all along..."

Amanda actually blushed and shrugged. "It never came up?"

"You know what else never came up..." Deirdre started, snuggling up into Amanda's arms.

"Right. Sorry for the horrible timing."

"Did you mean it, though?"

"Absolutely." She loved the way her girl's face lit up.

"I love you, too," Deirdre whispered.

"You do?" Amanda asked, a little surprised, since Deirdre had gone out with Justin.

"Justin was a mistake," Deirdre said as if she could read Amanda's mind. "Maybe I was trying to downplay how invested I am in whatever you and I have together. But it didn't work, I still love you just as much if not more than before I stupidly went out with him. Maybe I was scared. You know, only maybe."

"Scared of what?"

"That my feelings were one sided again, as always. I know I get attached easily and other people don't. I'm realizing that. But I don't know, it feels different with you I guess, like the feeling started in a different place in my brain than it has before, and like maybe I really am in love with you, and I was trying to protect myself in case I was just delusional again."

"You're not delusional," Amanda assured her. "You've got me wrapped around your little finger, crazy in love." Deirdre squeezed her so tight she yelped in surprise. "Oof!"

"Does that mean no more spanking?"

"Not a chance."

"Fuck."

Amanda threw her head back and laughed. "I may be wrapped around your little finger but I'll still tan your ass if you break the rules."

Deirdre giggled softly and kissed her. "I figured as much, but a girl has to try."


End file.
